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I’m a nerd at heart and play lots of video games, watch a lot of TV shows, and am also a writer and artist! I haven’t been writing lately, sadly, but I want to finish a novel I’ve been working on for years. While I can draw, I prefer web-design due to the fact I’m a perfectionist and being able to create layouts to the pixel is very satisfying.
I was diagnosed with BPD* in 2016 while active duty in the Marine Corps, stationed in Iwakuni, Japan. This was a large turning point in my life and the start of a continuing healing journey.
*Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects the way people feel about themselves and others, making it hard to function in everyday life.
– Mayo Clinic
While in the Marine Corps, I served a total of 4 years as a Heavy Equipment Mechanic and was honorably discharged as a Corporal. I enlisted for the sole reason to be as far away from my family as I could, and I knew the military would accomplish that for me. I spent my first two years stationed in Iwakuni, Japan then completed my service in Camp Pendleton, California.
I met my now husband while in my last platoon, 7th ESB. I was a Corporal while he a Lance Corporal which caused a lot of drama. Not to mention selling access to my Snapchat during the last year of active duty which had one of my Sergeant’s on it. Yes- I absolutely was a barracks bunny while stationed in Japan. However, I learned later that I was using risky sex as a way to self harm.
I started sex work mostly as a way to learn how to love my body but also in hopes of teaching me how to set and enforce boundaries. While I still struggle with being a people pleaser, sex work taught me more than I could ever expect.
More recently, I have been diagnosed with autism and ARFID*, which I already assumed, however- it’s now official!
*Individuals with ARFID limit the volume and/or variety of foods they consume, but unlike the other eating disorders, food avoidance or restriction is not related to fears of fatness or distress about body shape, size or weight. Instead… selective eating is motivated by a lack of interest in eating or food, sensory sensitivity (strong reactions to taste, texture, smell), and/or a fear of aversive consequences (choking or vomiting).
– National Eating Disorders Association
Overall, I’m someone who started to learn how to heal later in life than she would have liked and most of that healing I owe to sex work and the sex workers I’ve befriended along the way that continue to inspire me today.